Salam Aleykoum! This post is part of the Moroccan Fridays series in which I aim to shine a light on the country I grew up in. The series strives to explore various topics, swaying between reality and legends, geographical wonders and curious traditions. You can discover previous posts here.
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“He who has no milk has no friend.”
You may spend an hour analysing this Moroccan proverb. It will lead you nowhere. That is, of course, unless you’ve heard of the word “colactation” before. But still. How can friendship be related to the possession of milk?
Somewhere in Pre-Saharan Morocco… in a small oasis community 400 km south of Marrakech, there exists a bond other than blood. A bond based on the practice of colactation, or in other words: milk kinship.
Breastfeeding forges bonds. But this isn’t any kind of regular, metaphorical or just spiritual bond. Breastfeeding has legal, social and cultural consequences for both the mother and the children. Children who have been nursed together thus become like siblings. This bond is taken so seriously that there is a Surah (a chapter) of the Quran stating that milk siblings are forbidden from marrying one another.
Milk kinship bonds can start for many reasons.
- In this particular oasis, there are two prevailing tribes, the Shurafa (highly-respected, land-owning families, considered to be descendants of the Prophet) and the Haratin (dark-skinned farmers standing at the bottom rung of society, thought to be traded slaves from Central and Eastern Africa).In short, the Shurafa and the Haratin symbolise the tip and the base of a pyramid. And yet, Shurafa infants have been nursed by Haratin mothers and vice-versa. The exchange of mother’s milk becomes a strategic tool to begin a long-term exchange relationship.
- Mother’s milk is also considered to have healing powers, especially for eye diseases.
Here’s an example. One Sharifa believed that it was her ‘bad milk’ that caused the early death of her children. When the fourth child was born, she asked a Hartania to nurse her child. Milk kinship thus has the power to create long-term, affective bonds beyond the social status.
Some say that in order for the kinship to be formed, a mother needs to breastfeed the infant five times. Others say that a single drop is enough for a bond to be forged but one thing is certain – mother’s milk is considered as a gift.
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Thanks for reading.
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Learning cultural practices and underlying beliefs is a way to feel closer to those who live far away. Thank you for beginning this series. I found this week’s topic so interesting and human.
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It really is. Morocco is filled with such traditions and so few of them are known (including by me)! With this series, I rediscover many things as well.
I’m really happy you like it!
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I’ve always thought Morocco and Turkey would be fascinating to visit. I’m glad you are enjoying your own series!
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Interesting. I am enjoying your new series :) I don’t know much about that part of the world.
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Thank you! :) well there you go, soon you’ll be an expert!
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Thanks for that. It is all new to me and I enjoyed learning about it.
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Thank you, Lucile. There is so much to learn about Morocco I am constantly amazed and grateful I got to grow up there!
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You’re most welcome! I’m sure there is and the best is to learn about it through your views. I’m going there one day and I’ll ask you for advice.
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Wow! This is a truly amazing post! I love Morrocco, have visited twice only, sadly, but I have never heard of this milk kinship bond. It makes so much sense, and I suspect was a common practice across cultures which fell into disuse in the last century, when breastfeeding your child lost favour. So much for advanced enlightened society.
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Thank you, Ali!! If I’m honest, I hadn’t heard of it either until I stumbled upon it in a book at the library. ;)
Sometimes I wish I’d stayed in Morocco a little more and been more curious. But hey, the child I was wasn’t particularly interested in traditions! :D
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When you are a child, you think like a child. I cant remember who said that, but its true. I had such wonderful life experiences as a child, but I never realised it. It is like I walked around withvmy eyes and mind closed. Nothing we can do about it now, sadly.
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This is very true indeed. Nothing we can do but look back and feel grateful for the chance we were given, despite not realising this until much later on.
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This series makes me look forward to Friday. So far two very different insights into Morocco. Was this new information to you too? The photos are a great addition: is that sadness on the faces, or just the unfamiliarity of being photographed, do you think? This custom gives a new dimension to the English and American tradition of the wet nurse: there’s an acknowledgement of kinship. Are you going to use this in any way in your novel?
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It makes me so happy to hear you say that!
Yes, it actually was new to me too. While I was researching my novel, I stumbled upon it in the library. At first, I thought I would use it, but the location in my novel is very important, and in this part of Morocco, this tradition was not that widespread. But you never know where or when it will be useful. :)
I like to think the Haratin in the photo were not used to a camera, but we will never know. If you click on the image source, there’s an interesting article related to it.
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Fascinating. I wondered what kind of status the woman providing the milk enjoys. Is she thought of as a servant (basically a wet nurse), a kind of godmother, a family friend, or something else entirely?
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Bun, I just found this comment in my spam. Why on earth was it in my spam, I don’t know… Sorry for the delay in response but here it is: the nursing mother is definitely considered to be a friend. I guess if we were comparing, the concept of godmother would suit the occasion. Once a mother has nursed two previously unrelated children, the bond is instant and usually eternal.
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That really is very interesting. I’m not sure why, but I’m very relieved to hear that the nursing mother is afforded that kind of respect.
Don’t worry about my being in the Spam folder, but the way. I was quite comfortable in there for a day or two and am none the worse for the experience. :D
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Yes, I agree with you. It would feel rather unfair otherwise.
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fascinating; not heard of that but I can see how, culturally it would make sense
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It makes such great sense, doesn’t it! And Ali was right, to think that nowadays, women refuse to breastfeed their children at all. What a contrasting world we live in.
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Fascinating. We have a similar tradition in Azerbaijan. Love this series!
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Oh really? I didn’t know that. Is it a tradition that is still actual?
Thank you! A new post is coming up this Friday. :)
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I believe my grandpa had a ‘milk brother’. Perhaps it was born out of a necessity (people died and children stayed with other relatives)… As in Morocco, community component is very strong.
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Thanks for sharing this with me, I didn’t know. Such a fascinating relationship kind, isn’t it?
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Absolutely! Thank you for writing about these traditions. I look forward to tomorrow’s post.
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